I’ve never been a huge fan of lyrics; I can listen to songs hundred, maybe thousands of times and not have the slightest idea what the lyrics are, or what they’re about. Which is odd for someone with such a keen interest in words. But I like music as well, and just as I don’t listen to music while I’m reading because it distracts me, I find I’m much more likely to listen to riffs and chord progressions than what the singer’s actually getting at. Which might be a bad thing, but fuck it, it really doesn’t bother me that much.

 That said, there are a few Morrissey/Smiths lyrics I like. ‘How Soon Is Now’ is one; ‘Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now’ is another. In fact the latter is one of a select few songs I actually like the lyrics more than the music. There’s just something so universal about “I was looking for a job and then I found a job, and heaven knows I’m miserable now”, that transcends its origins in the frustrated north of England in the mid 80s. It’s an especially relevant lyric to me at the moment, because I have finally embarked on a career, and while it may not be the career I initially aimed for, it is a promising one. And since my appointment was confirmed, I’ve never felt so fucking miserable.

 Even spending a large amount of money (paid in cash) for a flight to the U.S. next April, where I will hopefully see three of the places I’ve long been enraptured by, hasn’t cheered me up. I can’t quite put my finger on why I’m feeling so down at the moment, but there are a number of potential candidates; the clocks have gone back, and soon I’ll be leaving and returning from work in the dark. I also have to do this by the incredibly erratic local bus service, and I still live with my mother. The latter I’m not sure there’s a huge amount I can do anything about; even the cheapest monthly rent would be around £300, and buying my own house is almost out of the question. Even a one-bedroom flat in a reasonable area is costing around £80,000 at the moment, which is frankly ridiculous. And if I do buy a grotty flat round here, no doubt the housing market would go into reverse, and I’d be struggling to get half of what I paid for it.

 I’m also resolutely single. As the girl has now taken nearly two days to reply to the last text message I sent her, I guess this means she’s not interested, despite her claims to the contrary.

And football was pretty crap as well. Despite me scoring with my right foot from the half way line. Which never happens.

So, in summary; job is good, but man cannot live by bread alone.

He needs cake as well at times.


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